


Sleepless

by haledamage



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: (but not really unrequited), F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Unrequited Crush, Watching Someone Sleep, watcher powers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-16 06:03:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21503077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haledamage/pseuds/haledamage
Summary: Late one night, Rekke learns what a Watcher is and a little bit more aboutwhothe Watcher is.
Relationships: Rekke/The Watcher
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> Seki is in italics

It was late at night when Rekke woke suddenly from his sleep. It took a moment to remember where he was, to recognize the sound of the ocean, the barely familiar language spoken in murmurs around him.

He was on a ship, in a land far, far from home, and he should have been sleeping.

He opened his eyes. The hammock across from his belonged to Edér, and it’s empty. He sat up in time to see Edér disappear into the Captain’s quarters.

He felt a stab of jealousy, but quickly pushed it away. He shouldn’t have been surprised that he wasn’t the only one interested in her. She’s beautiful and clever and fearless and Edér had years to win her heart while Rekke had barely known her weeks.

He rolled back over and pushed it from his mind. He was already asleep again when Edér returned.

The next night, Rekke was awoken again as Aloth climbed from his bunk above. He caught the elf’s eye as he walked past, and he didn’t catch all of the half-whispered Aedyran Aloth said to him, but he got the gist of it. ‘Everything’s fine, nothing to concern yourself about, go back to sleep.’ Like that’d ever worked to make anyone less curious, especially a man like Rekke.

He watched as Aloth carefully entered the Captain’s quarters like Edér had the night before.

Last night’s jealousy was overwhelmed by tonight’s curiosity. It’s doubtful this was another clandestine rendezvous, which meant the other probably wasn’t either. Which meant they’re up to something else and he suddenly, desperately wanted to know what that something else was.

It took Rekke a long moment to realize he wasn’t alone with his thoughts. Next to his hammock was the little girl he’d seen climbing around the rigging of the ship sometimes - Vela, that’s her name. Edér had said she’s an orlan; near as Rekke can tell, she’s a very young girl with furry ears and a smile full of trouble.

She had that smile pointed at him now. She offered him a hand wordlessly, and he barely hesitated before taking it. She led him to the door and knocked.

It’s Edér that opened it. Rekke hadn’t even noticed he wasn’t in bed either. He looked confused before turning a look of paternal annoyance on Vela. Before he could say anything, Vela spoke up. “Rekke wants to help Mama, too.”

The look Edér turned on Rekke was less paternal and more annoyed. “Does he.”

Rekke tried not to look like he had no idea what’s going on. His Aedyran was heavily accented, but confident. “I want to help.”

“Let him in, dear,” he heard her say from further in the room. She sounded like she was in pain or very, very tired.

“Kiki,” Edér started, turning from the door to look at her. Rekke caught a glimpse through the open doorway. She met his eye and gave him a listless smile. Tired, then.

She waved off whatever protest Edér had. “Let him in,” she said again. “He’ll just hover outside the door until you do.”

Edér moved aside to let him in, though he didn’t look happy about it. Aloth gave him a polite, tight-lipped smile from where he sat in a chair in a far corner, book open in front of him. Vela dropped his hand to instead sprint across the room and scramble into her lap.

Her. Rekke wished he knew what to _call_ her. Even in his head, she was only “her.” Captain was just a title, too formal. He’d heard some people call her Watcher, always with a hint of awe or fear, but she didn’t seem to like that and no one would tell him what it meant. But her name was all vowels and he still had trouble shaping it right, though not for lack of trying. So he didn’t call her anything. He just said, “hello.”

“ _Good evening_.” Her accent in Seki was as thick as his in Aedyran, but he liked that she was willing to learn. “Or _good morning_. I guess that’s more accurate.”

This close, he could see the exhaustion clinging to her like spiderwebs. Her hair was a mess, even by her normal standards, and her normally bright green eyes were dull and shadowed. Her smile was a distant, ghostly thing. There’s a cup of coffee on the table in front of her; as he watched, she touched a hand to the ceramic cup and steam started to rise from it where it had previously been cold. She lifted it to her lips and drank it all in one gulp, grimacing at the bitterness of it.

He sat at the table with her and offered her a hand. He didn’t touch her, didn’t know her well enough yet to know what she’s comfortable with, but he tried to make it obvious what his intention was. He put the offer on the table - literally, in this case.

She took his hand. Her fingers were cold. How did a woman who controlled fire with her mind have such cold hands?

She laughed, tired but warm, and Rekke realized he said that out loud. He blushed, embarrassed, but she didn’t appear offended. If anything, some of the light seemed to have returned to her eyes. “Ask your questions, dear,” she said. “I can see them in your eyes. _Ask_.”

He asked. Already, he knew he couldn’t deny her anything. “ _What’s wrong? Why can’t you sleep?_ ”

And, amazingly, she told him.

In a careful, meandering combination of Aedyran and Seki and, briefly, another language he didn’t know but he’d heard her speak before, she told him of her curse. Of what it meant to be a Watcher. She was thrice haunted, once by the dead, once by the gods, and once by her own distant past. They whispered in her ear, danced in the edges of her vision, and tormented her sleep.

Edér and Aloth reluctantly filled in the spaces that she couldn’t, pieces she’s missing from the time they first met when she lost herself to the voices. Also, at least two times that her… soul was kidnapped? That didn’t sound right, but perhaps his grasp of Aedyran wasn’t as good as he thought it was.

It’s a fantastic story, and Rekke’s pretty sure he only believed a quarter of it. How was he supposed to believe that this tiny, tired woman in front of him was the resurrection of a woman who had created and then rebelled against her gods two thousand years ago? That because of this, she could read a person’s memories and life story from their soul? It’s impossible. Wasn’t it?

She must have seen his disbelief on his face. “I wouldn’t believe me either. It’s a ridiculous tale, truly. I can prove it to you, if you’d like.” He nodded, too confused and curious for words, and she smiled at him and squeezed his hand. Then her eyes went… blank. Empty. A few moments passed in silence before he noticed the glow in them, violet light curling in their depths like smoke. Where their hands touched, he felt her skin go colder, almost painfully so, like wherever the life in her eyes went it took all her warmth with it.

She started speaking, in a distant voice but flawless Seki, and Rekke realized with a jolt that he knew the story she’s telling. It’s his own. He heard in her words (though not in her hollow, lifeless tone) his pain and fear and stubborn refusal to surrender to the storm they call Ondra’s Mortar as the waves and wind ripped apart the boat around him. He heard how close he came to drowning when the ship splintered and he was thrown into the sea.

The light faded and the life returned to her and silence reigned over the room. Rekke watched her face as all the emotions from what she saw (what she _read_. From his _soul_ ) caught up with her, tears filling her eyes and spilling over silently, falling on their joined hands. She brushed them away quickly.

“ _I didn’t mean to put you through that_ ,” he said, as if he had any control over what his soul remembered. “ _I’m sorry, Kiki._ ”

The pain on her face was chased away with surprise and then a beautiful, bashful smile. “Kiki?”

“ _That’s what Edér called you earlier._ Is it okay if I call you that?” It’s much, much easier to say than her other name and it suited her more than just calling her Captain ever would. But maybe it wasn’t a name? Maybe it meant something in Aedyran that he hadn’t learned yet; maybe he just insulted her, or it was a term of endearment or something.

The smile lingering on her face said she wasn’t offended. “It’s… a nickname my family gave me, that’s all. I don’t mind if you use it.”

He beamed at her and she blushed, her cheeks and the tips of her pointed ears turning a lovely shade of pink. There was something shy in the way she looked at him now, and it was new and intriguing and beautiful. He wished he knew exactly what made her look at him like that. He’d do it again in a heartbeat if it meant she’d keep doing so.

Aloth said something, his accent much different than Rekke had heard before and tone sly and playful and completely not like Aloth. Rekke didn’t understand the words, they weren’t quite in Aedyran - but maybe something akin to it? - but whatever he said made Kiki blush darker and Edér chuckle.

“Iselmyr, please don’t say things like that in front of my daughter,” Kiki said primly, motioning to Vela still curled up in her lap. The little orlan was fast asleep.

“I should probably get her back in bed,” Edér said. He scooped the child out of Kiki’s arms; Vela didn’t so much as stir in her sleep. “You okay, Kiki?”

“I’m fine.” There was that tired smile again, even more exhausted than it was before. “You should sleep, my dear.”

“You should sleep,” he said, and his worry was audible.

“I don’t think I have a choice at this point. I’m…” she huffed an almost soundless laugh, “done. Someone come wake me if I start screaming about shipwrecks.”

Edér hovered about for another minute, but when Kiki just repeated ‘I’m fine, go to bed’ he reluctantly left. Aloth approached, leaning down to have a brief and very quiet conversation with Kiki before he left as well, wishing them both a good night.

And then it was just the two of them. Rekke wondered if he was supposed to leave now too, but he didn’t want to yet and Kiki hadn’t made any indication that he needed to. She was still holding his hand. Did she know she was still holding his hand?

“ _You’re going to have nightmares about my shipwreck now?_ ” he asked to fill the silence.

She shrugged, casual like they’re discussing the weather and not the fact that Rekke has just become another of the ghosts that haunted her. “Probably. The things I See in other people’s souls tend to leave a mark, at least for a while. Don’t worry, dear. It’s still better than my usual fare.” She gave his hand another squeeze, then pulled away and ran it self-consciously over her hair. Her eyes stayed on his face, though, studying him as if trying to read his thoughts; briefly, he wondered if she actually could. “ _I hope I did not scare you._ This… Watcher business, it unnerves people sometimes. They think it’s creepy.”

“ _I think you’re incredible._ ” It wasn’t what he meant to say, but it was true so he didn’t take it back, though he knew his face must be red. “I have never met anyone like you before.”

“I could say the same to you,” Kiki said, and she’s blushing again too. “ _Thank you. For wanting to help._ ”

Rekke smiled, sly and mischievous. “ _I thought you and Edér were having an affair. The way he sneaks in here in the middle of the night is very suspicious._ ”

She laughed at that, real and joyous and livelier than anything he’d heard from her all night. “ _I told him that would happen._ I don’t know why he’s trying to keep it secret. I don’t make any effort to hide my condition.”

“He is trying to protect you.”

She pursed her lips sourly. “He always does. So does Aloth. I’m still not sure if I think they’re sweet or obnoxious.” Her frown turned into a fond smile, though, and he got the impression that her protests were habitual and not sincere.

“They are family. I think that makes them both.” Kiki turned that fond smile on him now, and it made him feel warm all the way down to his bones. It made him want to do something reckless, something to impress her and earn that affection for himself. Instead he said, “ _Do you want me to leave so you can sleep?_ ”

“You can stick around a little longer, if you’d like. I can’t promise I’ll be much of a conversationalist, though.” Rekke believed it. Even though she was still smiling, her head was leaned heavily on one hand, elbow propped on the table. She was struggling to keep her eyes open.

“Do you want me to stay?” He thought he knew the answer, but he needed to hear it. _Wanted_ to hear it.

Her eyes snapped open and she met his gaze in obvious surprise. She seemed taken aback by the question, like she didn’t expect to be allowed an opinion on the matter. “ _Yes_. Just… Just until I fall asleep. _If that is okay_.”

He grinned. “ _I’ll stay as long as you wish, Kiki._ ”

There’s a few moments where neither of them moved, where the air in the room started to feel heavy and charged. Kiki cleared it with a shake of her head, like she simply didn’t have the desire for things to feel awkward and so they didn’t. She walked over to her bed and nudged at what looked like a pile of blankets. It turned out to be a large black dog and an absurd number of cats. The menagerie reluctantly moved to sleep somewhere else.

Kiki crawled into bed without hesitation, too tired for decorum, and Rekke claimed the nearby overstuffed reading chair. She gifted him with another warm smile, but he could see sleep pulling her down and away. Within minutes, her breathing slowed and evened out and she was out.

Rekke knew he should leave now that she’s asleep, but he lingered a little while, watching her. There was a knot of a frown between her eyebrows already from something forcing its way into her dreams. Without thinking, he reached out and smoothed his thumb over it, smiling as her expression cleared and she relaxed back into sleep. He brushed a few wild curls out of her face, then pulled his hand back and moved away from the bed in an effort to remove the temptation to keep touching her.

He took the opportunity to sate his curiosity and look around the room instead. He hadn’t had the opportunity to explore this corner of the ship yet. 

There were a lot of books. What use could she possibly have for this many books? There seemed to be one or two on every surface, gathering in piles and drifts on any available space except the bed and the desk.

The desk was mostly covered in paper, haphazard stacks of letters and half-finished replies. He picked one up, but he couldn’t read it yet so he just shrugged and set it back down.

On a small shelf next to the desk was a collection of knick knacks that caught his attention. A pair of broken swords and a third sword that was still whole. Twin intricate bronze daggers. Several amulets tied together, all bearing the symbol of a black key. A speckled bird feather. A fox carved from white adra. A diving helmet. A stone bust of a woman whose eyes seemed to follow him wherever he went. He got the feeling that the woman was judging him, though he couldn’t say why.

Kiki made a small, distressed noise in her sleep and Rekke immediately abandoned his exploration to return to her side. She had curled into a ball, hands tensed into white-knuckled fists. He knelt next to the bed and covered both her hands with his. Her hands were alarmingly warm.

She whimpered again and he shushed her gently. “Shh. You are safe, Kiki. _No harm will come to you while I’m here, I swear it._ ” When she didn’t immediately calm down, he did the first thing he could think of and started to sing. It’s a lullaby his mother used to sing to him, the first song that came to his mind, and he didn’t remember all the words, but he knew the tune enough to hum the parts he couldn’t recall. 

Some of the tension drained from her as he sang, so he kept going. Most of the songs he knew were shanties or pub songs, but his singing voice wasn’t half-bad, and Kiki’s asleep so he doubted she’d judge his taste. He’s in the middle of the third song when she finally relaxed again and after a moment, he relaxed too. He rubbed his thumb over her palm, trying to soothe the crescent-moon marks left by her fingernails.

A few minutes passed and she didn’t stir, breathing still calm and even, so he reluctantly pulled himself away from her once more. He went back to the reading chair and, after a moment’s consideration, picked it up and moved it next to the bed before settling down into it. “If you need me, I am right here. _Good night_ , Kiki.”

Rekke watched her for a little while longer, but whatever had been troubling her didn’t come back and her sleep remained undisturbed. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes.

Aloth found them the next morning when he went to check on Kai. She was curled up on the bed, the big black hound draped over her legs like a blanket. Rekke was still in the chair, with a cat on his head and two more in his lap. With a small smile, Aloth backed out of the room and let them sleep in.

**Author's Note:**

> I am of the opinion that every character voiced by Sam Riegel can also sing like Sam Riegel, so Rekke obviously must have a lovely singing voice


End file.
